Reflections on 2012

2012 for me has been a year of new beginnings and new experiences. Add to this the mix of gradual transformation and healing; lessons learnt about life, love, friendship; the opportunities to serve in places I was afraid to enter in my younger life and the chance to work on the habits and issues that held me back from living a fulfilled life. I'm still not done learning and mending and transforming but I think I have come further in the last 12 months than I have in the last 12 years.

 The year began with heartache and lost friends and lost opportunities, confession of a need for supernatural help. I was at the lowest point of my life. Lost, alone, dejected and depressed. But as anyone who's been on a downward spiral will testify, the only direction to go from the bottom, is UP. So the year of 2012, even though filled with challenges, slip-ups and failures, was consistently in an upward trajectory.

Here are some of the highlights of 2012

1. My resolution for the year was to begin writing a book. I ended up starting on 3 different novel ideas. 

One of the story idea's came out of my resolution. As I shared earlier in the year, I got an image in my mind when I made the resolution of a child standing in a thunderstorm standing outside a suburban house. This image gave me the idea to write a story called the miracle child which I have been working on through January.

Other than this I have also begun two other stories that were developed out of short stories I had written as assessments for my creative writing course during 2012. One which is somewhat of a sci-fi/thriller variety. The other book came out of another assessment piece I had written which involves nazi treasure. I still have to do research to find out if it has all been recovered or if there are still missing pieces around so I can determine if I will have to set it in the current century or if I will have to write it in an earlier period of time.

I’ve also had short story ideas that I am working on. Some that I will share with the general public, others which I had intended not to share with the general public and use only as personal therapy. The funny thing is that the ones I had intended for personal therapy, I had finished last year, but due to the type of ink I used to write those specific stories, the heat waves during the summer and the fact that I kept the books in my car constantly resulted in those stories being wiped clean from my books...literally. Similar to how certain receipts get faded because of heat being applied to the paper. I guess they were never meant to be consumed by the public.    

2. I began to serve a greater cause

When I came to Adelaide, I wanted to do something. Anything of value. But everywhere I turned it seemed there was a closed door. I wanted to help, to find something greater than myself to commit to. It’s a feeling inside most humans if not all of them. We want to be part of something significant, something that affects others. Some take the negative approach and join organisations and corporations that bring people harm. I wanted to change the mindset of people to turn to something positive.

Soon, I found a church in the COC movement that had recently started in Adelaide. I decided to become a part of it and serve where needed. Then I found out that the COC movement in South Australia was responsible for running Red Frogs in Adelaide. (It wasn’t till much later that I found out that the Red Frogs Program came directly out of the COC movement. This was another surprise for a later time.)

The year of 2012 was a year of learning and experiencing and being thrown in the deep end with regards to serving, ministering and leading. But I survived. I learnt about serving, learnt about right and wrong motivations for serving, learnt about the grace and favour of God and learnt to love unconditionally. Some groups wait for a person to learn these lessons first before serving. That’s their prerogative. They may be doing it for good reasons. But personally, I would not have learnt any of these lessons without being in the mix of things and finding connection in the church I am in and learning to connect in ways I may have been uncomfortable in before.   

3. I learnt to forgive.

Forgiveness is a hard thing. When you forgive, you’re releasing the responsibility for punishing to God rather than thinking that you can punish someone with your mind. The mistake I made in 2012 was I said I had forgiven and told everyone I knew that I had forgiven. I allowed my heart to be filled with pride saying that I’m such a big man for being able to forgive. But in my heart I was still looking for a sign that the other person was being punished for what they had done. As someone once said, “Unforgiveness is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”.

By the end of 2012, I realised I had to forgive completely, not just with my words but in my deepest part of my heart. I had to release the responsibility to God and allow him not only to deal with them but with me as well. It was only a few weeks later that I heard of a great blessing that had come into the other person’s life and I found myself actually being happy for them because I had genuinely forgiven them for leaving my life.

I learnt that God’s purpose is not a win-lose where one person gets blessed and another gets cursed. He wants the best for everyone....a win-win. God’s purpose is restoration. Both our lives are being restored. We may be going in different directions and living different lives with different purposes now but we are being restored to live an exciting, enjoyable and hope filled life. It’s the true fulfilment of the words “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”.

The year of 2012 was awesome. It had its challenges but it also had its triumphs. 2013 has already been a month old and I have seen great new experiences, opportunities and growth. It will be a greater year than what has been and I am looking forward to what is going to happen. New friendships, new careers, new experiences. Already this year, I have stayed in a resort as a part of a retreat, travelled home on public transport in Adelaide, made new friends and gotten new experiences in public speaking and ministering. Let 2013 be a year of NEW THINGS. Do new things, gain new experiences, a new life.

Adios. Till next time.

V-man