After the party, I ended up at my usual haunt on the beach at Glenelg. The process involved walking, meditating, praying, listening (to the ocean and to God) and rehearsing ideas for writing and for life in general. During that time I got reminded of a passage of the Bible I read recently which dealt with motivation and motives and decided I'll make this blog about that.
In Zachariah 7, God asks the people of Israel to look at their motives for what they do especially with regards to their religious acts as well as their service to the community. Basically God reminded the Isrealites that our motives and motivations need their sources to be switched around.
Motive and motivation are two words that are used interchangeably but in actual fact they are separate and distinct in their definition but at the same time, linked.
Motive is defined - An emotion, desire, physiological need, or similar impulse that acts as an incitement to action. (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/motive)
Motivation is defined as - Something that motivates; an inducement or incentive. It has a sense of encouraging/moving/pushing someone into action. (http://www.englishforums.com/English/MotiveVsMotivation/bbgzxd/post.htm)
Simply, your motive is your reason for starting on a given path. Your motivation is what keeps you going when circumstances or your physical ability gives you reasons to give up.
Motives
Our motives are usually internal and self serving. Following are some examples.
"Why are you donating to a charity?" - "To be able to claim it in my tax return."
"Why are you tithing?" - "So I can be blessed 10 fold," or, "So my finances are secure."
"Why are you helping out or volunteering with that group/church/charity/event?" - "So I can put it in my resume for community service."
"Why are you getting married?" - "So I can have someone to comfort me in times of lonliness."
These are all internal motives. God actually spoke to the people of Israel about this and indirectly to me as well, "was it really for me you were fasting? And even now in your holy festivals, you don't think about me but only for pleasing yourselves." (Zachariah 7 v 5b-6).
This is something God has begun challenging me about recently. Am I doing it for myself or for God/others? It's a tough call, and for every person it would be different. But for us, our motivation should be for others rather than ourselves. This in no way means that we don't expect a return for time invested in these acts. We will be able to claim things on tax, we will be blessed and taken care of, we will be able to add it to our resume, we will have someone to comfort you in those lonely times, but if those are your primary motives then eventually you will run out of anything to motivate you because it will become a drag on your spirit and you will find it a chore, a means to an end and the relationships will seem like a bitter pill.
One the other hand when you make the benefit of others and blessing others lives out of our wealth, then it becomes a better and more enduring motive for starting along a path. When your motive is to help people, you will start investing time in other people's lives. Giving them priority, getting to know their individual circumstances rather than just using a stencil format to deal with every single (unique) case that comes through the door or comes into your life. It is more enduring because every year you will face new challenges and struggles, new people, new situations. As long as your motive was to learn about all these challenges and face them, every year you serve will become a year of surprises.
This can also be applied to Business as well. When your motive for going into business is to make a profit above all else, then you will get customers who come to your business for one thing and one thing and leave. Your priority will become to sell your goods and services indiscriminately and you will find yourself coming up with ideas that employ a stencil format to cater to all customers and eventually doing business will become a drain.
Conversely, when you believe you have a product or service people want and need and look at your business as an opportunity to help and provide a solution to people's problems, your aim will be to get to know individuals and find out their individual circumstances and situations and come up with a solution that is best for their unique situation. This in effect will give you an opportunity to communicate your passion with more people, people will feel you are interested in their lives (which you naturally will be, because that would be your initial motive), and will return with more business, which in turn will bring in the profit that you would need to be able to run the business effectively with the bonus of having satisfied customers and staff and having the capacity to continue the business for a long stretch of time.
How to resolve motives
How do we get our motives changed from internal (what will I get out of this?) to external (how can I help others?)?
Prior to Committing
Some charitable organisations/churches require people to spend a period of time not doing any form of serving. Usually around 6 months or even a year. This is a good way of ensuring that the individual in question gets an idea of the culture of the group and feels the need to invest their time and energy into the group without expecting some kind of recognition. But the danger to this process is when the individual is left on their own during the period of non-service. When they are left on their own and not followed up or socialised, it usually leads to people leaving the group./business/relationship.
The best thing to do is get people involved in passive groups, such as meetings, gatherings of people in the same life stage as these individuals, teams helping during special one-off events or just attend events organised by the group. Giving them a mentor to guide them actively through their introduction. This is not mentoring in the traditional sense but more like chaperoning with coaching specific to mentoring about motives and capabilites they can invest in the group. Once the time period has passed and their motives have been checked, they can be intergrated into the group to help out and serve, which would result in a longer term commitment then if someone was put straight to work or if they were left on their own in the initial stages
In a work situation this would mean rostering them for standard hours with the general population of the workforce. Taking them on job-site tours and meetings with staff and giving them a mentor to monitor their progress on a regular basis using a personalised plan. (Some organisations perform this mentoring process but if the motives of the business itself are faulty, it ends up being a stencil format plan which in effect does not work).
When planning to commit to a relationship it would mean communicating with them generically or with a group of people to check their motives. Get them involved in small ways but not allow to deep a connection to avoid a breakdown when things go wrong and it allows a new paradigm when motives are proven to be good and creates a step up in the relationship.
After you have Committed and Commenced
Some people suggest removing yourself from the activity if you know your motives are wrong or selfish. This is sometimes not a practical response. You can't just walk out of a relationship/marriage or business or leadership position if your motives for getting in that position are wrong. That would be a form of selfishness and cowardice and would show a lack of leadership and concern for those that rely on you in the process.
What I have found to be a good idea is to take some time out (maybe a weekend or a week if you can afford to) and detail (in writing) your actions and ideas and outline your motives for each idea. Write down what you do; your tasks; your responsibilities; and especially your future plans within your life/relationship/business/NFP group and figure out what your initial motive is. What was the reason you signed up for it? What was the reason you got married? Why are you pursuing that person? Why are you in that business? When you find a motive that is self serving, don't throw it out, because as humans, we have this natural bent to look out for number one. Instead, try to find a motive that is others-centred and focusses less on your own benefit. Then every time you perform that task, every time you speak to your spouse, every time you help a customer - remind yourself of your others-centred motive. This will slowly change your focus from being self serving and it will transform the way you work and live and make it more fulfilling. "As a man thinketh, so is he" - Proverbs 23:7.
Another good idea is to find someone to coach you. It could be a pastor, a counsellor, a friend, parent or a work collegue. The only requirements for a good coach would be:
1. They ask the honest questions and don't hide behind cliches.
2. They encourage you when you fail instead of putting you down for re-hashing old mistakes.
3. They motivate you to improve at each meeting.
Conclusion
Your motives are important for any activity, relationship, business or group you plan to invest you life, time and energy to. As human beings our natural motive setting is a self-centred, survivalist mode.
Now there is nothing wrong with survival. Nobody wants to be mistreated or used by someone else when they allow their motives to encourage them to give and invest in other people, so they look out for themselves, but a self-centred motive has limited reward. For a Christian, it means our reward is the recognition, or the pleasure or the profit. In Matthew 6 v 2 and 16, Jesus spoke about charity and prayer and fasting. In these two verses he mentions that when charity or giving and prayer and fasting is done for our own self-serving or own pleasure then "..they have received all the reward they will ever get" (v2) and "...that is the only reward they will ever get." (v16).
But when you look outside of yourself and make your motives about others it brings growth and blessing. "Judge fairly and honestly and show mercy and kindness to one another. Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and poor people and do not make evil plans to harm each other." (Zachariah 7v 9-10). This selfless life is basically a duplication of Jesus' motive. A motive that looked beyond himself to others, that wanted to serve others instead of himself, a motive that wanted to save mankind by sacrificing his own life and desires. I can assure you, check your motives, transform them, get someone to coach you as you progress through and you will find things starting to look up in your life. You will see healthier relationships, better service and results in your volunteering, greater profits and customer satisfaction in your business and also less need for motivating activities to "keep yourself going" in tough times. I will finish by quoting a passage from the book of Phillipians in the Bible. Chapter 2 v 3 -9 (AMP in www.biblegateway.com)
4 Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.
5 Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]
6 Who, although being essentially one with God and in the form of God [[b]possessing the fullness of the attributes which make God God], did not [c]think this equality with God was a thing to be eagerly grasped [d]or retained,
7 But stripped Himself [of all privileges and [e]rightful dignity], so as to assume the guise of a servant (slave), in that He became like men and was born a human being.
8 And after He had appeared in human form, He abased and humbled Himself [still further] and carried His obedience to the extreme of death, even the death of the cross!
9 Therefore [because He stooped so low] God has highly exalted Him and has [f]freely bestowed on Him the name that is above every name,
Catch you later
V-man
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